Toy Review - DC Collectibles' Earth 2 Superman
Okay DC Collectibles, we need to talk.
Remember when I reviewed your Crime Syndicate figures and I said if you kept this up for your main characters that I’d happily re-purchase heroes that I’ve already bought more times than I should EVER admit yet again? You do? Well, then, I’m left with only one question:
What the hell man? Do you NOT want my money?
Fine, sue me, that’s two questions.
When I first saw Earth 2 Superman on the shelf, I figured this was it…this was
where DC was going to show me that they finally figured it out…the detailed sculpts they’ve become known for mixed with the articulation that has always eluded them. I could see the ball-joint hips, the bicep cuts, the ankle joints and so on and grew even more hopeful.
Then I took him out of the package.
The arms behaved as I expected…which was good. Sadly, this was yet another Superman that was cursed with the inability to look up…so taking flight poses weren’t going to happen, but I’m used to that. No big deal. No ab crunch or waist swivel…again, okay…not a deal breaker. I mean, a waist would’ve been nice and I really can’t see why it’s NOT there…but hey, whatevs. Then we get to the ball-jointed hips.
I know it doesn’t convey over the internet…but that’s a heavy sigh of heavy disappointment. It’s the sigh I usually reserve for my girlfriend. [Sharing too much. – Ed.] You guys at DC Collectibles know that the sole purpose of ball-jointed hips is to ALLOW for leg movement…RIGHT??? I mean, I feel I have to ask this…since poor old Superman’s legs can either move forward or backward. There is SOME side to side movement…and sure I could TRY to force some forward/backward motion, but this brings me to my second point. STOP WITH THE CLEAR PLASTIC…OKAY??? ENOUGH. Constructing a figure out of clear plastic and then painting over it…sure, it looks nice but do you not understand that clear plastic is brittle as shit? I’ve had Injustice figures dissolve in my very goddamn hands, serving as martyred examples of this. Even worse…MAKING JOINTS OUT OF SAID PLASTIC. Are you all completely and irredeemably MAD??? You see, Superman’s balls…um…phrasing…Superman’s ball-joints are made of said transparent plastic…so now, I’m frightened to even breathe on the damn things wrong. [Why exactly is your head down there? – Ed.]
Back to DC Collectibles’ strength…usually…the sculpt. My previous sentence gives too much away, so let me start with the positive…which is everything from the chest down. It’s a good looking figure. The neck and head though? The neck looks a little too long to me. I mean, sure, it’s not like they made him Mekaneck or Superman the Giraffe-boy or anything…but it does bring to mind the old Freddie Blassie insult of ‘pencil-necked geek’. Bonus points if you get that reference. [What, are we really keeping track? – Ed.] My other beef is with the face sculpt. It almost looks like they took a page from Play Arts Kai in the anime/effeminate approach. There are the slightest hints of Brandon Routh’s Superman in the sculpt, which I applaud them for [If it’s really there. – Ed] but it’s the Play Arts Kai interpretation of Brandon Routh…and that’s fine on my Play Arts Kai figures. I just don’t want it on my hardcore DC Collectibles stuff.
I still stand by my statement from the Crime Syndicate review and I WILL re-buy EVERYONE when DC Collectibles gets their shit together and continues the magic that those toys captured. But right now? I’ll just be happy if they find the crowbar to pull their heads out of their asses and stop with the damn clear plastic. That’s step one guys. Make it happen.
No picture gallery this time...not so much for the posing is this one.